Breathing
by KouenTaisa
Summary: Two weeks. Two weeks since Amber died in his arms. Fourteen days without speaking to House. Three-hundred and thirty six hours of loneliness in a room with a bed too big for one. Wilson/Amber. Spoilers for season 4 finale.
1. Sanity

**Author:** My first jump into the fandom of House M.D. This will contain spoilers for the season 4 finale. It's centered around Wilson/Amber, but other characters will appear. Expect this to be relatively twelve chapters long. Each chapter will represent one of the lines of the song _Breathing_ by Lifehouse. Said lines I chose are down below. The underlined line is the one used to for the chapter. So... let's hope I can keep people in character and in line.

"I'm finding my way back to sanity again  
Though I don't really know what I'm gonna do  
When I get there...  
Take a breath and hold on tight  
And spin around one more time  
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

Cause I'm hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
That's alright, alright with me  
Cause I want nothing more  
Than to sit outside heavens door  
And listen to you breathing" - Breathing: Lifehouse

**Sanity**

Two weeks. Two weeks since Amber died in his arms. Fourteen days without speaking to House. Three-hundred and thirty six hours of loneliness in a room with a bed too big for one. Wilson rolled over onto his side, pulling her pillow tight against his stomach. He felt empty, just like the house did. Just like everywhere did without Amber.

_"Wilson-" Cuddy placed her hand on his arm. She had visited after the funeral, silence consuming the room after a single word. A word that clearly held all that she was feeling and all that she thought he felt. None of them had really known Amber. She was just… there. The woman he was dating. The girl he lived with… the one he loved. They had no emotional attachment to her. It was him they came to comfort. It was for him they felt grief. He was still alive, though, and their grief was not enough. It never would be._

He rolled over again, stopping to stare at the ceiling. Lying on his back, spread out on the bed, it was still too big. In his hand was a piece of paper. It was crumpled, but he held fast to the last thing Amber had ever written. Her note to him on the back of an envelope. It was proof, along with the cold grave stone, that she had existed.

_"It will get better…" the soft voice said quietly. Wilson kept staring at the stone with her name carved into it. The scene was almost surreal to him. To her. Cameron stood at his side, staring at the name as well. She remembered losing her first husband. How much it had impacted her life. How much she had hated to let him go, but time forced her too. Time and life forced her to move on._

_"It will get better."_


	2. Don't Really Know

**Author:** A quick second chapter. I am almost in tears writing this (even though it's not the best). I just love Wilson so much and to see his character in so much pain is.. surreal. Painful. Like a bullet to the chest and a stab in the back.

"I'm finding my way back to sanity again  
Though I don't really know what I'm gonna do  
When I get there...  
Take a breath and hold on tight  
And spin around one more time  
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

Cause I'm hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
That's alright, alright with me  
Cause I want nothing more  
Than to sit outside heavens door  
And listen to you breathing" - Breathing: Lifehouse

**Don't Really Know**

It was a Wednesday when he finally got out of bed. The middle of week four. Wilson looked a mess in his wrinkled clothes and his untidy hair. He ran shaky fingers through his hair. His other hand twitched, and the envelope drifted through the air and landed on the floor in silence.

"_James?" Amber called out, closing the door behind her gently. It was late. She'd had to work a double today and had left a message for Wilson at home and at work. Her keys jingled as she dropped them onto the bookshelf by the door. Looking around, she couldn't find any sign that he was home. Silence._

Wilson slowly started to remove his shirt, turning on the shower. He wanted the hottest water he could stand. It was a way to cleanse himself, in his mind. So Wilson got into the shower, and scrubbed. He scrubbed away the dirt and grime and memories until his skin was red and felt raw.

"_Amber?" Wilson stepped into their house, looking around. There was so no sign of her. Surly, she should be home now. He had received both of her messages, but he himself had been late getting off. His eyes scanned the room, but he seen nothing that showed her presence. Only silence lingered in the house. _

Stepping out of the shower, he toweled his hair dry and dressed in his work clothes. Wilson brushed his teeth and grabbed his watch. He forced his feet to slide into the shoes without resistance. It was almost routine. Almost.


	3. When I Get There

**Author: **A short chapter, but it's here to mostly get the bandwagon moving. I am now going to go update Freedom before I get shot... since I neglected it to finish this.

"I'm finding my way back to sanity again  
Though I don't really know what I'm gonna do  
When I get there...  
Take a breath and hold on tight  
And spin around one more time  
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

Cause I'm hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
That's alright, alright with me  
Cause I want nothing more  
Than to sit outside heavens door  
And listen to you breathing" - Breathing: Lifehouse

**When I Get There**

Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital wasn't as busy as he thought it would be. People walked down the halls instead of running. At first, Wilson didn't see anyone he knew enough to talk to. Vaguely, being here made him wonder how House was doing. The thought was fleeting, and only lasted for a few seconds.

"Wilson?" the voice sounded surprised. He turned, eyes landing on Chase and Foreman. The latter was the one who had spoken. He tried to force a smile on his face, but it just wouldn't come. He was moving forward, but not fast enough. To be honest, Wilson didn't really know where he was trying to go or how he was getting there. He just knew that he had to move.

"_I-I've never done this before." his voice trembled slightly. He was hesitant to try something so… daring. She smiled and the gesture brightened the room. Amber kissed him, pulling Wilson closer._

"_I have. You'll enjoy it." he never doubted her. _

Opening the door to his office took more effort than it should have. It was oddly neat and dust free. He was surprised, and a little upset. Someone had rearranged his office while he was gone. His brow furrowed. Almost a complete month. Wilson stood in the doorway of his office and covered his eyes with his hand. Silence surround him and it seemed that he was moving with no destination.


	4. Take A Breath

**Author:** Thinking about the rift between House and Wilson always makes me sad, but something in this also balances it out. The slight hint of Huddy... and there WILL be Huddy between the Wilson.

"I'm finding my way back to sanity again  
Though I don't really know what I'm gonna do  
When I get there...  
Take a breath and hold on tight  
And spin around one more time  
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

Cause I'm hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
That's alright, alright with me  
Cause I want nothing more  
Than to sit outside heavens door  
And listen to you breathing" - Breathing: Lifehouse

**Take A Breath**

The first week at work was fine. Wilson managed to keep himself occupied and he did not run into House. The second week he was less occupied, but still there was no crazy diagnostician to bother him. The third week, however, he stopped House. Wilson was having a conversation with Cameron when he noticed the man walking out of Cuddy's office.

Gregory House looked exhausted and pained. It was a mixture that, even with the infarction, he had never seen before. He stopped mid-sentence. Cameron turned, curious to see what had distracted him. She herself paused, looking between him and House. Worried.It seemed that House had yet to see Wilson standing across the hallway. Cuddy came out behind him, a sad look on her face. She stepped forward, placing her hand against his back. It seemed, that to them, no one else was there. Cameron, of course, already knew how much time Cuddy had been spending with the ill House. Wilson, on the other hand, did not..Wilson didn't know that Cuddy spent the first month living with House. He also didn't know that House was still having more bad days then good.

_Wilson stood just inside the door of the ICU room. Cuddy was curled up in a chair, sleeping by his bed. He himself, it seemed, was asleep as well. Wilson shifted, starting at House. He didn't know what to feel. Not really. She was dead, after all, and he had loved her. _

_He continued to stare, waiting for some sign that House was at least alive. A few minutes later he got his sign. House opened his eyes, staring back at Wilson. He could see a question in that blue gaze, but he did not have the answer. So he turned and left. _

"Wilson?" her voice was soft, but even then it startled him. He jolted when he also noted House was starting at him with those piercing blue eyes. Wilson turned away. He took a breath. He smiled at Cameron, and then he moved on.


	5. Spin Around

**Author:** I think this is the longest chapter yet, and let me tell you. I revised this so much today. At church this morning I wrote the beginning draft. All I used from it was a piece of the beginning paragraph and the rest was trashed. I wrote the rest, with the Huddy part as a last addition. And while making more revisions before posting it up, I typed up the memory at the end. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for the reviews!

"I'm finding my way back to sanity again  
Though I don't really know what I'm gonna do  
When I get there...  
Take a breath and hold on tight  
And spin around one more time  
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

Cause I'm hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
That's alright, alright with me  
Cause I want nothing more  
Than to sit outside heavens door  
And listen to you breathing" - Breathing: Lifehouse

**Spin Around**

Another week passed by. Wilson was doing better with each passing day. With the help of Cameron he had rearranged the furniture and cleaned the entire house. Amber would've been proud, but he wasn't ready to think like that yet. Work, on the other hand, was slow. He spent his time talking to Cameron. House was never mentioned. That was one change the oncologist wasn't sure he would ever be ready to make.

It seemed that he was always seeing him, though. Most of the time he was with Cuddy anymore. Wilson suspected something, but he wasn't quite sure. They interacted differently and though it shouldn't bother him, it did. Why did House get to be happy while he suffered on the inside?

"Wilson?" he looked up, smiling as Cameron walked into his office. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a messy bun, showing how busy she had been down in the ER. She smiled as well, pushing a piece behind her ear.

"You seem busy." he chuckled, standing up. She smiled, watching him with her gentle eyes.

"So, ready for lunch?" he nodded, walking away from the desk and toward the door. Cameron followed. This routine was good for him. He seen people. He talked. He ate. Wilson interacted with people when they were out, and it was good for him.

"Seriously, Cuddy. Move your ass out of the house."

They both looked up. Cameron wasn't surprised, but the look that passed over Wilson's face scared her a little. House and Cuddy were walking into the cafeteria. They seemed to be arguing. Cuddy had her hand on his arm, looking slightly exasperated. House had an eyebrow raised, Cameron looked up at Wilson, seeing different emotions play over his surprised face.

"Make up your mind, House. You asked me to stay and now two weeks later you tell me to go? This isn't going to work like thi-"

Cuddy was cut off as House reached over and grabbed her arm gently. She looked up at him, and then followed his line of sight. Wilson was directly opposite of him, staring at them. Beside the oncologist was Cameron, who was staring at Wilson instead of them. She felt House's body tense up beside hers. He had not spoken to Wilson in almost two months now. She knew how much it was affecting him. Wilson had been his best friend, and now in that place there was no one. Cuddy couldn't even fill it.

"Wilson-" the voice belonged to House. She looked up and then over. Cameron was now looking at her former boss in shock. Wilson, on the other hand, had a look of disgust on his face. Without saying a word, he spun around on his heel and fled the cafeteria. Cameron followed, calling after him. Cuddy and House remained standing in line, neither saying a word.

__

"Aw- Come on, Wilson! It's not like I'm asking you to have sex with me. Seriously, it's just a game of bowling."

Wilson looked up from his papers, already exasperated with the pleading House. The man could be so annoying sometimes, and no matter how much Wilson might love him that would never change. Ever since the loss of Cameron, Chase, and Foreman he'd been a bit more persistent. While Wilson loved this trait in patients fighting cancer… it wasn't the best of things with House.

"House-"

"Just one sex free game, Jimmy."

He paused. Damn House and his begging.

"Fine, let's go."


	6. Arms of Grace

**Author:** Be exicted! Two slightly longer than usual chapters in one day. I like this one for the Huddy at the bottom, because I figured in the end what kind of Wilson fic do you have without House? The point is, you usually don't. Unless it has Amber, but they killed her off because of their cruelty. Anyways, before I rant, we are at the half-way point. Six more chapters left. Will Wilson and House get back into the pool? Will Amber make an appearence? Will Cameron seduce Wilson!? I think not. Get your minds out of the gutter!

"I'm finding my way back to sanity again  
Though I don't really know what I'm gonna do  
When I get there...  
Take a breath and hold on tight  
And spin around one more time  
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

Cause I'm hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
That's alright, alright with me  
Cause I want nothing more  
Than to sit outside heavens door  
And listen to you breathing" - Breathing: Lifehouse

**Arms of Grace**

Wilson closed his eyes, letting Cameron's arms envelope him in a hug. He was upset. Pissed. Angry. House's single word in the cafeteria had set him off. He was disgusted with the man.

"Wilson…" her voice was soft, pulling him away from his anger. The oncologist released a deep breath before he relaxed.

"Sorry. I just wasn't expecting that."

"Yeah… I don't think any of us were. Are you still…" she trailed off when he just nodded. Where House was involved in his life, he didn't know. Things had changed and were continuing to do so. Amber was dead. He was unhappy. Cameron seemed like the best person in the world. Work was slow. The apartment was empty. It was unnerving how quickly things could and would change.

_"She isn't sharing."_

_Wilson sighed, closing his eyes. Of course it would be House. Only House would wake him up so early in the morning to complain about play-date issues. _

_"House, you agreed. She could have me this weekend instead of the next. You know we're going to see her parents-"_

_"This isn't fair!" _

_Wilson groaned. He even stomped his foot like a little child._

_"Seriously?"_

_"I expect an extra week. Let Mommy know that." _

_As House hobbled away, Wilson wondered what he had ever seen in the man. _

House pressed his cheek against Cuddy's neck, letting his breath tease her skin. He smirked, watching the way a shiver passed through her body followed by a sigh. Just plain beautiful.

"House, we're in the elevator."

"I know."

Cuddy could hit him for sounding so smug. The last two months had changed them and their relationship. One argument blew up into sex, followed by grief and guilt. Now they were dating, on most days. House was still uncertain, testy. Cuddy could deal with it for now. So many things were unsure, and this was just another 'what if' to add to the list.

"… he still hates me."

Silence.

"House-"

"I told her that he would hate me… and she said that you don't always get what you want."

"_House-_"

"If I did she wouldn't be the one with the-"

"_**H**__ouse-"_

He stopped, looking down at Cuddy. He sighed, stepping closer to her. He didn't know what to do. He was the world's best diagnostician and he couldn't even diagnose the problems with his relationships.

"My place, you said?"

A nice, if not overly obvious, change of subject. Cuddy nodded. Things would change. House would stop hurting, and so would Wilson. House would become the persistent man they had once despised sometimes. Wilson would smile again, like he meant it. Things would change… even without grace accompanying them.


	7. Hanging On Every Word

**Author:** A small chapter to get us somewhere. I hope you enjoy it.

"I'm finding my way back to sanity again  
Though I don't really know what I'm gonna do  
When I get there...  
Take a breath and hold on tight  
And spin around one more time  
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

Cause I'm hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
That's alright, alright with me  
Cause I want nothing more  
Than to sit outside heavens door  
And listen to you breathing" - Breathing: Lifehouse

**Hanging On Every Word**

House closed his eyes, feeling Cuddy lying beside him. Another night full of movies and arguments and discussions and love. A half-hearted smirk graced his features as he rolled over and pulled her close. Cuddy shifted a little, mumbling. It was hard not to think of Wilson, when he was like this. If only because Wilson had lost what he had just found. No wonder his best friend would no longer speak to him. As painful as it was, House could see the other side and it didn't look pretty.

_Wilson arched an eyebrow, watching as House twirled his cane._

"_Are you really this childish?"_

_House grinned, stopping the cane mid-turn as he nodded._

"_You should know me better."_

_"Sometimes I wish I didn't."_

Cameron shifted, piled up on Wilson's couch. Another movie mash had turned into Cameron passing out on Wilson's couch night because of the late hour. Aforementioned man was lying on his bed, relaxed and lost in thought. House had actually tried speaking to him. The disgust rose up in his chest, threatening to steal away his relaxed state.

_Cameron._ he thought the name and instantly calmed down a few notches. She was there. Cameron was helping him when no one else could. Foreman and Chase visited often enough, and with them came tons of movies and popcorn and corny lines and bodies in chairs. It was good, even if the healing process was still slow.Cuddy was the one person who did not come see Wilson. Ever since the cafeteria, her visits had dwindled and stopped. He knew why. She couldn't understand why he was against House so much. In the end, it wasn't House that had killed Amber.

It was her decision to do this for him. To be there for House, because they were friends.Wilson didn't want to pin this on himself. He didn't want to think of Amber in a bad light… so his disgust transferred to the other party involved. Wilson rolled over and grabbed the phone. His fingers jumping across the keypad as he dialed a familiar number. One ring. Two. He hung up quickly. As much as he wanted to hear something from his best friend, he couldn't do it. Not yet. Not now. Maybe, not ever.

_"I love you." it was the first time he had ever told her that. Date twelve. A Wednesday night after a long day of work. They were at her favorite restaurant and in the middle of desert. She had been talking about her co-workers when he had blurted it out. Three simple, weighted words. Amber stared at him, shocked and surprised. Something else colored her face, but he couldn't identify it. _

_Not that night. _


	8. Even If You Don't

**Author:** Thank you for all of the reviews, story alerts, and favoriting. It really does mean a lot to me. I think this has to be one of my favorite chapters. grins It's up late, but I think you might get number nine tomorrow. This is also the longest chapter.

"I'm finding my way back to sanity again  
Though I don't really know what I'm gonna do  
When I get there...  
Take a breath and hold on tight  
And spin around one more time  
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

Cause I'm hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
That's alright, alright with me  
Cause I want nothing more  
Than to sit outside heavens door  
And listen to you breathing" - Breathing: Lifehouse

**Even If You Don't**

Wilson believed it was always the silence that killed him. Around House, there was never any break in conversation. There was always something there to dispel the silence. Amber enjoyed those quiet moments when they could just sit together. At first, he had always fumbled for something to say. Then, as time passed, he realized that words weren't always necessary. He could co-exist with her in silence and everything would turn out all right in the end.

_Two weeks. Two weeks of awkward silences and tense dates. At first, Wilson wondered if he had destroyed their relationship with those three words. Amber had yet to say them back, or even acknowledge he had said them. His gut churned and twisted whenever they came into close proximity. Would she ever tell him how she felt?_

_"I believe House is getting annoyed with-"_

_"Do you want to move in?"_

_Silence. Wilson stared at Amber, mouth slightly open. That was… random. Very, very random and daring and… weighted. Weighted… like three little words. He smiled a little._

_"I believe that would annoy House even more."_

_"Shall you move in tonight?"_

The office was deadly, House was starting to realize. He couldn't be with his ducklings every moment of every day without almost snapping one of them into for some small misstep. Cuddy was busy, so camping out in her office doing dirty things was out of the question. So House sat in his office, twirling his cane between hands and staring out the bright window.

"You seem so busy."

He turned, startled. There, in the doorway of his office, was Cameron. She pushed her blonde hair from her face, offering up a tiny smile. He smirked, and tilted his head.

"Of course. The great diagnostician never gets a break, you know?"

She laughed softly, stepping into the room and letting the door close behind her. He watched her, eyes piercing. House wondered what kind of game she was playing. Cameron opened her mouth to speak and House cut her off quickly.

"What are you playing-"

"He's miserable."

Silence. He cocked his head a little more. Wilson.

"He's miserable and I don't know how to fix him. I don't know if I can, and it kills me that one man could be so miserable. He lost his best friend and the woman he loved and he's-"

"Miserable. Yeah, got that."

She glared. Even with blonde hair and a fabulous bust, it was scary.

"You are his best friend, House."

"He hates me."

"He doesn't."

"Cameron-"

"He hates that he can't hate himself. That he won't hate her. It's obvious, idiot. He doesn't want her to be the cause of her own demise and he sure as hell doesn't want it blamed on him."

More silence. It was broken this time by a sigh as he stood up. His cane made a healthy tapping noise against the floor.

"I can't change what he has decided."

Cameron stared at him. Angry. Upset… and without words. She turned and left him standing there.

_House was dreaming. Dreaming of Amber and a bus. A different bus from the one that had wrecked. He was confessing his heart to this woman… and she was dead. He asked for the same fate, but knew that it would be denied. It always was. Amber gave him a smirk. It was neither smug nor condescending. She had accepted his face, and now he needed to. _

_So he got up off of the bus and walked. Walked out, and into the all too brilliant lights of the ICU room. Cuddy about had a heart attack in her joy. Speaking was beyond him, so he blinked for her… and fell back asleep._

_This time he dreamed of Wilson. A silent, distant Wilson. A James Wilson that had no place in his heart for one Gregory House. _

_He woke up, and the feeling of pain was soothed when he spotted Wilson by the door. The dream still fresh in his mind, he wondered if Wilson did hate him. Silence engulfed them. The oncologist barely offered him a glance before h turned and left. House had never felt so alone._

Wilson was in a patient's room, idly watching the TV. It was boring, but he didn't want to go home to the silence. No just yet. So he was content to watch some lame soap opera. He flipped channels, and settled on Scrubs. Interesting enough, he supposed.

He was into the show, and hardly noticed when the door open. His attention was pulled away, however, when he heard the tapping of the a certain cane. Wilson was tense as the noise stopped. House took a seat on the other patient bed and turned to the TV.

Neither said anything at all.


	9. Alright With Me

**Author:** I am finally back from my extended trip with chapters! These were very hard to write, and I might go back and touch them up later... but here you go loyal fans.

"I'm finding my way back to sanity again  
Though I don't really know what I'm gonna do  
When I get there...  
Take a breath and hold on tight  
And spin around one more time  
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

Cause I'm hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
That's alright, alright with me  
Cause I want nothing more  
Than to sit outside heavens door  
And listen to you breathing" - Breathing: Lifehouse

**Alright With Me**

Her hand was gentle on his back, rubbing. House had been there, silent yet annoying. Wilson tensed up, but Cameron shushed him.

"I talked to him."

Silence…

"Wilson-"

"Why?"

"Can't you see yourself dying?"

"Amber-"

"-wouldn't want you to just disappear."

He fell silent. This was the first time he had said her name since the funeral. Cameron looked away, feeling guilty. It was wrong to use Amber's memory that way.

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't be."

His voice was soft, startling her. She was trying to help. Of course, that had to count for something. Wilson closed his eyes, relaxing. She smiled. Maybe he was ready for House.

_They were young when they met. House was the one everyone wanted to be. To see, even. Wilson was just a very plain and normal oncologist. House was already starting to get recognized as one of the world's top diagnosticians. _

_A single glance. _

_They caught each other's eye from across the hall. From that day they were inseparable. _

House grunted, pulling her down with a smirk. His leg was starting to hurt him and his Vicodin was a world away, it seemed. Cuddy smiled, resting her head on his chest. Another long day at work, but apparently there had been some improvement somewhere. He had spent the better half of two hours sitting in silence with Wilson.

"It wasn't exactly planned," he grumbled. She laughed softly.

"Of course it wasn't.."

He glared lightly, but the look was gentle. House didn't mean any harm. He never did most days.

_Their relationship changed. A one night stand on a night when nothing should've happened. Wilson picked up on the insecurity of the two after that day. It soon eased to something bearable, but she would always be under the impression House didn't care. Sometimes, even when he did. _

The stone was cold. Even after all of these months, it was the newest addition to the graveyard. His hair was falling into his eyes as the faint mist fell to the earth. It was a dark and dreary Sunday. A day of rest for most, but not him. He was too caught up in his own emotions to rest.Did he still despise House? Did he really blame the man for her death? For his pain? Wilson wasn't sure. The line was blurred… for now.


	10. Nothing More

**Author: **Another update. I have chapter eleven done, but I dare not post it up until tomorrow. I'm trying to space these out so I can work on finishing chapter 12 without a huge gap. As always, your reviews boost my ego and create my ideas.

"I'm finding my way back to sanity again  
Though I don't really know what I'm gonna do  
When I get there...  
Take a breath and hold on tight  
And spin around one more time  
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

Cause I'm hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
That's alright, alright with me  
Cause I want nothing more  
Than to sit outside heavens door  
And listen to you breathing" - Breathing: Lifehouse

**Nothing More**

It was a great debate. Cameron could see it on his face. That deep look of concentration that caused wrinkles where there should be none. Wilson was battling with himself and it was plain for anyone to see. She stepped forward, gently touching his arm. Even if he didn't know it, she would be there for him.

_Cameron sat with Wilson in the cafeteria at the hospital. It was a late lunch, and most everyone was already back at work. The ER had been running over, so her lunch had been pushed back. Wilson, on the other hand, had waited for her_

_Things were starting to change._

"House-" she followed him around the hospital in anger. The man was becoming so hard to deal with now a days. Wilson's continued silence was hurting him more than any injury. That even included his leg. So what do you do when the enemy isn't anything but emotions?

"_House_-" she tried once more. Her hand was just inches away from his arm when he turned to face her.

"What?" the word was said with more agitation than was necessary. Cuddy fell back, hesitating. House paused, blue eyes showing guilt a moment too late. A soft sigh escaped him as he stepped toward her. "Lisa-"She was gone without a word.

_A one night stand in college. It had been her wildest dream back then, getting to sleep with one of the world's up and coming best diagnostician. House, even in college, was something to be admired. He played lacrosse in his spare time. Captain of the team their senior year. _

_He was known for his medical knowledge and skills. He was a force to be reckoned with, even then. Cuddy realized and wanted. She wanted him for all that he was and all that he could, and would, eventually be. _

_That one night stand had destroyed them._

Chase watched Cameron with confused eyes. They were still together, but she spent all of her free time with Wilson. Yes, he was still heart broken and yes, he needed someone to help him. What Chase wondered was why Cameron? All he wanted was time with her. _She was laughing, sitting across the dinner table from him. They were out on a date. It was rare these days, but every so often they could match up their schedules to get some alone time. Cameron smiled. Chase reached across the table to take her hand.Her cell phone rang. She offered him an apologetic smile as she dug it out of her purse._

"_Don't answer."_

_Cameron nodded, hesitating when she noticed the name on the caller id. James Wilson._

"_Hello?"_

_Chase strained to hear the other voice, but it wasn't loud enough to carry. She nodded once. Twice. _

"_I'll be there in just a moment." Cameron hung up the phone. _

_Even as she made a move to stand, Chase tried to grab her arm._

"_I'm sorry, Chase. Something came up. We can finish this another time, okay?" she kissed him quickly on the lips as she left the restaurant.._

_Chase had never been more jealous._

"I miss her." he whispered softly. The room was empty. The air was cold. Wilson was seated behind his desk, staring at the ceiling. Cameron was sitting in front of him, silent. Two hours. One-hundred and twenty minutes. Seventy-two hundred seconds of contemplation which had led up to those three pained words.

"I really believe she was the one I would've happily spent the rest of my life with."

She nodded, getting up. Moving to his side, she placed her hand on his shoulder. Her presence was his comfort. Her touch the balm he needed to help sooth his wounds. Wilson forced back the tears. He was done crying. He had to move forward, even if it killed him.

_Cameron tugged on his arm, forcing him into the doors of the theatre. __**The Phantom Of The Opera**__ was being performed and she had heard it was one of Wilson's favorites. So here they were one night after a long day of work._

_Wilson was reluctant, but half-way through the performance he started to smile and show reactions to the scenes being played out. It was almost as if the statue had turned into a living human again. _

"Forgive me?" he walked into her office. She had her head down, unwilling to look at him. House took another step forward, his piercing blue eyes locked upon her. Cuddy continued to sign papers with a practiced flourish of the pen.

"Cuddy-"

"Will this ever work between us?" she sounded upset. Controlled. The words were harsh and calculating to his ears. House stopped at the edge of her desk.

"With some work."

She looked up at him.

"So I'm still moved in or are we 'working' on moving me out?"

"Working on keeping you in, but only if you give it up tonight, of course."

She huffed, going back to her paper work. Satisfied, House left the office with a little smirk of his own.


	11. Outside Heaven's Door

**Author:** One more chapter to go after this. It kinda makes me sad. I want to make the ending as wonderful as possible, but it's so hard to find the right things to do or say without turning the chapters uber OOC and I don't want to do that. I hope I haven't made it too bad.

"I'm finding my way back to sanity again  
Though I don't really know what I'm gonna do  
When I get there...  
Take a breath and hold on tight  
And spin around one more time  
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

Cause I'm hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
That's alright, alright with me  
Cause I want nothing more  
Than to sit outside heavens door  
And listen to you breathing" - Breathing: Lifehouse

**Outside Heaven's Door**

_Amber ran her fingers through his hair. They were both relaxing on the couch in their new apartment. Music played softly in the background, helping to set the mood. The day had been long and tiring for both of the doctors._

"_Marry me." her voice was soft against his cheek. Wilson tilted his head back, trying hard to control the surprise on his face. She was smiling, the gentle look on her face making his heart pound harder._

"_Amber-"_

"_Someday, right?" she whispered softly._

Wilson jerked awake, the covers tangled around his body. Cameron was already gone for the night. He remembered falling asleep a few hours ago while listening to the Cranberries on the Cd player. Amber had loved the group.

_Amber_. Her name struck a hard chord in his chest. It was painful and strong. He rolled over onto his side, seeing the empty space. Time had dulled the ache in his chest, but it was still there. Wilson doubted it would ever go away.

"_Stay with me." _

_House crawled over to Amber, tying her scarf tight around her leg. She nodded, looking scared._

_He passed out._

"House-" He was being shaken. Blue eyes blinked open and took in his surroundings. He was laying on the couch in his office. Foreman was hovering over him, looking concerned. Shifting, he slowly moved into a sitting position.

"You okay?"

A moment of silence passed before House nodded. A grimace appeared on his worn face.

"Amber."

Foreman could only nod. Wilson wasn't the only one affected by the death of his girlfriend.

"_This again?" his voice was gruff with annoyance and surprise. She smirked, her blonde hair falling into her face._

"_You're dreaming me."_

_It was the same as he remembered. House sighed, moving to sit on the ground beside her. They were in Wilson's apartment._

"_Do you miss me?"_

"_You're the missing link." he mumbled. Amber smiled, but it was not full of joy._

"_I know."_

"_He hates me."_

"_He doesn't. Wilson doesn't know how he feels."_

_House stretched out his legs, leaning back on his arms. He really didn't feel like arguing with someone who wasn't really there. _

"_Sure."_

"_He just doesn't know what to say… and in the end, House, neither do you."_

The dream was quick to end, but House was slow to wake up. Cuddy was at his side, deep in sleep. He closed his eyes again, thinking. 'Dream Amber' had been very correct. She had brought up the long buried answer. Just like before.


	12. Breathing

**Author:** Well, you guys have been waiting for this a long time. The final chapter. I've had at least ten different beginnings to this. In the end, while sitting here, this just came to me tonight. So tada, here it is. The song lyrics in the middle, that are in bold, are Dark Blue by Jack's Mannequin. I think it can fit House and Wilson. Anyways, some of the italics are quotes directly from the series. Others are from earlier chapters. I hope you guys enjoy this... and thank you for all of the reviews. They mean the world to me.

"I'm finding my way back to sanity again   
Though I don't really know what I'm gonna do   
When I get there...   
Take a breath and hold on tight   
And spin around one more time   
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

Cause I'm hanging on every word you say   
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight   
That's alright, alright with me   
Cause I want nothing more   
Than to sit outside heavens door   
And listen to you breathing" - Breathing: Lifehouse

**Breathing**

"_Idiot- your heart stopped."_

House stared out the window, watching as the rain fell from the dark sky. He didn't know what to feel. He could see Cuddy in his mind's eye, the look of pure relief on her face as he came back from his heart attack. In his mind though, it wasn't Cuddy he was focusing on. Instead, he was watching Wilson.

The man was concerned. He could see it on his face. He could also feel the two hands upon his chest. Wilson had been helping Cuddy resuscitate him. His own hand came up, pressing against the beat of his heart. He closed his eyes. Without Wilson, would his heart continue to beat?

"_You're my friend."_

"_Oh, jeez. Have some backbone. If you think I'm wrong, do something."_

"_Wait, you're getting mad at me for sticking up for you?"_

"_You value our friendship more than you ethnical responsibilities."_

"_Our friendship is an ethnical responsibility."_

Wilson sat in his car, just outside of his home. His fingers tapped away at the steering wheel. Everlasting Friend by Blue October was playing on the radio, the music almost drowned out by the rain that pounded against the vehicle. His mind was a million miles away from anything.

He wondered if the aches in his chest would ever disappear. One, of course, was created by the loss of Amber. He had loved her. He would always love her, but sometimes love just wasn't enough. Apparently God thought so as well. The other ache, the one that was getting more prominent by the day, was the absence of his best friend.

House. Greg House. He had been Wilson's friend long before his leg became an issue and definitely longer than he had loved Amber. So what was he supposed to do in a situation like this? Suddenly, the song on the radio changed.

**I'll wait, I'll wait for the  
Ambulance to come, ambulance to come  
Pick us up off the floor  
What did you possibly expect under this condition  
So slow down,  
This night's a perfect shade of**

**Dark blue, dark blue  
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you  
I said the world could be burning and burning down**

"_Don't answer."_

_Cameron nodded, hesitating when she noticed the name on the caller id. James Wilson._

"_Hello?"_

_Chase strained to hear the other voice, but it wasn't loud enough to carry. She nodded once. Twice._

"_I'll be there in just a moment." Cameron hung up the phone._

Cameron sat at her small desk, staring absently at the empty doorway. The day had been busy. Patients had flooded the E.R. in waves. Now, when no one was left besides her, she felt a buzz left over from the day.

It was the first day in a long while in which she had not seen Wilson. Actually, today was the first time he had been the last thing to cross her mind. It felt good in a way that she couldn't describe. In her mind, the less she worried about Wilson meant that he was getting better.

Maybe now Chase would stop breathing down her neck in agitation.

_Their relationship changed. A one night stand on a night when nothing should've happened. Wilson picked up on the insecurity of the two after that day. It soon eased to something bearable, but she would always be under the impression House didn't care. Sometimes, even when he did._

Cuddy picked up her purse, getting ready to end her day at the office. Almost everyone else was gone for the day. Almost. She knew that House would still be in his office. Waiting. Cameron might still be somewhere, winding down after a busy day in the E.R.

She grabbed her keys on the way to the door. They jingled quietly in her hand as the door shut.

_Wilson was in a patient's room, idly watching the TV. It was boring, but he didn't want to go home to the silence. No just yet. So he was content to watch some lame soap opera. He flipped channels, and settled on Scrubs. Interesting enough, he supposed._

_He was into the show, and hardly noticed when the door open. His attention was pulled away, however, when he heard the tapping of a certain cane. Wilson was tense as the noise stopped. House took a seat on the other patient bed and turned to the TV._

_Neither said anything at all._

The rain was still pouring down when he walked outside. His jacket was zipped up against the cold droplets that pounded the earth. The scarf around his neck moved wildly in the wind. However, when he looked up, even the cold that seeped into his bones couldn't keep him moving.

From across the walkway, dark eyes met with his. Wilson was standing there, his hair soaked as well as his jacket. In the background, House could hear his car running over the sound of the rain.

"Wilson-"

"She's dead."

House paused, feeling the pain in his leg being surpassed by the sudden pain in his chest. His heart ached with the words. Amber. Of course she was dead. He hadn't been able to save her.

"James-"

"But you're not."

Cameron and Cuddy were at the door, stopped. They had heard the last words, and wondered where this confrontation would go.

House swallowed, but remained silent. He didn't want to interrupt again. He didn't know if he had the real words to. Even his sarcasm was failing him now… but that was probably a good thing.

Wilson took a deep breath and started forward. He calculated the look upon House's face. The pain. The surprise. The caution. He knew what he wanted to say, but suddenly the words escaped him as he stared into the blue eyes of his ex-friend. The ache in his chest increased.

Without words, all Wilson had left were his actions. So he reached out and hugged House. The tension in the air broke. House's cane clattered to the ground. Cameron and Cuddy both took steps forward, but neither was willing to get to close. They didn't want to break the moment.

"Forgive me."

Wilson pulled away a little, speaking the words softly. The cold rain soaked both men now. House smirked. It was easier than it had been in months.

"About time you realized you needed me."

The words were full of confidence. Wilson chuckled, shaking his head. Of course House would assume such a thing.

"Of course, oh great House. I was nothing without you."

The smirk on his face broke for a moment, but it was replaced by a relaxed look.

"Of course, Wilson. Best friends need each other, you realize."

They both laughed a little.

Cameron and Cuddy joined them, smiling.

Their breathing mingled together.

The moment was complete.

So where the people in it.


End file.
